Darling Letters: On Discovering the Truest Version of Yourself

A woman's hand holding a oval-shaped vanity mirror

We are bringing “Darling Letters” from your inbox to the blog! We love the art of letter writing and believe it helps build authentic community. Our editors and contributors have thoughtfully written encouraging letters to cut through the busyness and speak straight to your heart.

“You’re really selling yourself, aren’t you?” he said as he laughed jokingly at me. 

Within five minutes of the date, I had listed off all the things I wasn’t good at: cooking, laundry or having a five-year plan. In my mind, I was just being upfront. In my heart, I thought this was the safest way to love.

Why trick anyone with my good qualities when they would eventually find out who I really was? 

It’s a funny idea, isn’t it? The notion that the worst version of ourselves is the truest version. It feels like the core of who we are because it requires peeling back so many layers just to get there and expose it. However, just because our flaws and imperfections are the pieces of ourselves that we hide deep down, it doesn’t mean they are the core of our identities. 

It’s a funny idea, isn’t it? The notion that the worst version of ourselves is the truest version.

We often amplify the voice of our inner critic, filling our minds with a narrow and inaccurate idea of ourselves. However, our worst days are not our only days. Just because you are capable of failing doesn’t take away from the fact that you are capable of success. It’s the sum of both those things that make you who you are. 

Don’t allow your identity to be trampled by your occasional missteps, bad choices or hard emotions. All of who you are is the truest version of you. 

Our worst days are not our only days.

With love,
Colleen Little, the Darling family

Do you attach your sense of identity to mistakes or successes? How can you begin to cultivate a sense of identity separate from actions or outcomes?

Image via Raisa Zwart Photography

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